Tips to less pain breakup

Dealing with breakups is quite a painful experience. Different people deal with breakups differently. Some avoid talking about it; some rage; some absorb the pain quietly; some find another partner to fulfill the empty feelings etc.

I feel breakups is one of the ups and downs of life. Dealing with broken heart could make us vulnerable. Still I think it is worthwhile to face it. In order to "heal" the wound, I suggest the following tips:

1. Accept whatever feelings you have
At this stage, there would be a lot of unbearable feelings. The brain is busy with messy thoughts. Accept the way it is. Don’t blame yourself for the feelings and thoughts. Try to convince the mind that the relationship has come an end. Accept whatever feelings you have. When the mind is at peace, the feelings will follow.

2. Appreciate the relationship
You might think I am kidding. I am not kidding. Well, appreciate the relationship might make it more difficult to let go.What I mean is appreciating the good things about the past relationship. Appreciate that you was once so blessed or so lucky that you have spend part of your life with the other party. Meanwhile, appreciate with a mind that the relationship is in the past already.

3. Don't force yourself to forget
One common thing people might say to you is to forget that person. Well, to be frank, can we really forget someone, who was once so dear to us, easily? Be true to your thinking and feelings. Instead accepting ourselves for thinking about the past relationship or the other party for now.

4. Honor yourself
I think this is one most important thing you can do to yourself after the breakup. You could lose the relationship, but don’t lose your self-respect. You might even hate yourself for being vulnerable. I still advise to honor your vulnerability for now.

I know the tips mentioned above might not be the only tips to deal with breakup. However, these are some tips I found it helpful while seeing people dealing with breakup.

Love matters

Love matters. But how to love? How do I know it is true love? I think there is a different between getting intimate and love. There are some intimate relationship without love, as well as relationships without intimacy.

The different between these two is intimacy is concrete whereas love is abstract. To make an illutration, I would say love is the foundation and intimacy is the house.

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My blog for youth is created to interact with young bloggers. I wish this is a resourceful blog for youth, where we can talk anything about being young.

I involved in counseling work, giving talks and work with youth. Normally, I encounter experiences with opposite sex relationship, homosexual, relationship with family members, dealing with conflicts, build self-esteem and knowing one's characters etc..

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